Agradecido / Grateful

At around 5:30am my son’s cries woke me up from a dream that I was having of him. The dream was that of watching him shaving, maybe he was getting ready for work or perhaps a date. Miles was all grown and the thought of my own childhood seeped into my dream, the vision of my Dad shaving was the thought. So when I heard Miles crying, I woke up with such a smile and picked him up, changed his diaper and placed him between his mommy and I to sleep. It has been an old advise not to place your children to sleep between the parents but then again our babies won’t stay forever young, so we will break that rule here and there.

Today is Thanksgiving Day and I really don’t believe in this calendar holiday, but I do believe in being grateful everyday of my life for all the blessings that I have been given. Becoming a parent truly sets life in a whole other perspective, maybe not to everyone, but surely it has changed my life and my priorities towards every breathing moment of my life. I have always pride myself of being a free spirited person and never have I given my decisions way too much thought. My sense of parenthood was not recently changed with the birth of my beloved Miles, but it has been solidified with him. The change kicked in at the birth and passing of my loving Sonia back in 1995, to have experienced such a moment is life changing without a doubt. It is such a drastic and unpredictable experience that it could’ve led me anywhere in life. What it did for me was question my sense of belief in a Higher Spiritual Source of Love. I cannot forget that an integral part of this experience was doubly felt with the ever present love from another child which is my loving Erika. This beloved child simply took over my soul & mind. At the tender age of 4 years Erika taught me a form of unconditional love that has lived in me ever since she claimed me her Dad. Today our relationship is not as stable as I would like it to be but I am to blame for this as well. At the same time when we do hang out, I simply live for that moment. Either way my undying love for her is at all times present and now with the presence of Miles I make it a point to have them present in each other’s life via text messages filled with photos and comments. At times she responds and at other times she remains quiet but I feel her smile in my heart.

So each day of my life I am genuinely grateful to God and reminded of all the bendiciones in my life. I am humbled for every chance that I receive to express my love to those around me. For both of my daughters and my son, the song that lives in my heart is the sound of your cries and laughters. I am deeply in love with you.

To Be Young

I woke up thinking of my 23 year ol’ daughter who I have not seen in many years and I terribly miss.  Since this blog is being dedicated to my evolution then it is only right that I choose to write about what is vital in my life and that is a sense of familia and unity.  I miss you Erika. Hopefully you might read this and if you do, enjoy!

For some odd reason I decided to revisit my old myspace page and in it I found some writing that I took from one of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s books on Intention.

The active side of infinity fosters a sense of humility. To quote the Talmud, “even if you be otherwise perfect, you fail without humility.” When you embrace the active side of infinity, you’re looking at something so enormous that your little ego is dwarfed in the process. You’re looking out at forever, and your little life is but a tiny parenthesis in eternity.

One of the reasons for so much contemporary depression and envy is the inability to see ourselves connected to something greater and more important than our own puny egos. Young people whose primary focus is on their possessions, their appearance, their reputations with their peers in short, their own egos – have very little sense of humility.

Your purpose will only be found in service to others, and in being connected to something far greater than your body, mind and ego.

People who receive the most approval are unconcerned about it. So, if you really want approval, stop thinking about yourself, and focus on reaching out and helping others. The active side of infinity keeps you humble.

Wilhelm Stekel wrote: “The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live for one.”